


Opening Up

by cazflibs



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 17:04:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10790937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazflibs/pseuds/cazflibs
Summary: Spoilers for Series XI, "Can of Worms". With the polymorphs all dead, Rimmer can finally let his guard down when Lister begins to seduce him. That is, if it *is* Lister who is doing the seducing.





	Opening Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Janamelie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janamelie/gifts).



> Written following a prompt from Janamelie - "Lister and Rimmer polymorphs trying to seduce their respective targets because they sense that Lister and Rimmer are in an established relationship." 
> 
> This fic is therefore dedicated to her.

It had almost been twenty minutes since they'd been separated, and Rimmer was now beginning to panic.

He'd encountered transformative beings like Polymorphs, Emohawks and Psirens several times over the years, and they were easily the foe that he feared the most.

It was the uncertainty he hated. The deceptive trickery. And the frightening realisation that they were the easiest to fall victim to.

He froze at the approaching footsteps, fumbling nervously with his gun. His heart suddenly leapt into his mouth as Lister rounded the corner, the man's face relaxing in a look of rather genuine relief as he clocked him.

“Rimmer, man, _there_ you are!” he sighed. “We've been looking everywhere for you!”

Not to be fooled, Rimmer quickly took aim. “Ohh, I bet you have,” he nodded a little too quickly.

Lister rolled his eyes theatrically. “What are y’doin’, y’silly smegger?” he snorted. “It's me!”

The gun in his hand trembled visibly as Rimmer fought to keep it still. “I-I can't be sure of that,” he stammered nervously. 

“For smeg’s sake, I’m not a Polymorph, see?” Lister holstered his gun and shrugged loosely. At Rimmer’s unwavering suspicion, he brandished open his arms. “What? Have I gotta pass some kinda _test_ or somethin’?” He fixed him with an impish, suggestive grin. “Like naming the exact spot you like me to lick you when we shag?”

Rimmer blinked unsteadily at the directness of Lister’s words, nervous eyes darting back and forth across the shadows for both Polymorphs and shell-shocked crewmates alike. Finding neither, he lowered his gun reluctantly in a visible ruffle of feathers, gnawing more than his concern into his lower lip. 

“Perhaps we should stick together,” he swallowed. “It'll make it easier to establish where the rest of the Polymorphs are.”

“Didn't Kryten tell you? They’ve all been totalled. Didn't take long to hunt ‘em all down,” Lister grinned smugly, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder. “He's off now just trying to track down the Cat.” He cast an approving eye up and down the hologram as he closed the gap between them. “So I guess it's just you and me, eh?

Hazel eyes performed their own wary trace up and down Lister’s body at his approach. “I guess.”

Lister snorted, a grin inching its way across his cheeks. “Why’re you still so tense, man?” he whispered.

Before Rimmer could answer, possessive hands had snaked across his back before reeling him into a deep, intense kiss. His eyes darted about nervously before plucking himself away. “Woah. W-what are you doing?” he mumbled.

“What do you think I'm doing?” Lister chuckled gently, although his movements were bold and powerful as he pressed closer towards him. “Besides, I _know_ you. You smegging _love_ it when I take charge every now and then. Am I right?”

Rimmer’s eyebrow twitched, quickly setting off a tug in his trousers as if the two were somehow connected by a length of wire. Lister snared him in a kiss again, one that Rimmer almost lost himself in - like Alice down the rabbit hole - until he clawed his way back to reality.

“B-but I thought we agreed we should keep this to the Bunkro-- ” Rimmer’s protests were silenced again by a fervent press of lips that quickly opened wider to the persuasions of a caressing tongue. 

Lister eventually drew back, leaving Rimmer dazed and breathless. “Come _on_ , don't be such a prude.” He grinned suggestively. “Besides, this little test of ours is way too much fun to hold out on until we get back, don’t y’think?” 

Their lips eagerly met once again, mutually this time. Smeg the agreement. With his projection still buzzing with the adrenaline from earlier, he'd never felt so horny in all his life. Rimmer gave no resistance as his lover guided him backwards, pressing him against the wall as they kissed.

Lister’s hands slipped slowly down the hologram’s arms, gently but firmly pinning his wrists to the wall beside his hips. “And you love it when I hold you down like _this_ , right?”

A pleasurable gasp escaped willfully between their open mouths, panting against his now-evident erection. “Yes,” Rimmer breathed.

“See? It's me, y’suspicious smegger.” Lister nuzzled Rimmer’s head to one side, leaving a trail of light yet seductive kisses along the length of his neck that made the hologram writhe pleasurably. “ _God_ , do you know how happy it makes me watching you squirm underneath me like that?”

Hazel eyes slowly peeled open as an icy chill crawled up his spine. “Happy?” he echoed unsteadily. 

But the personality tuck machine had… The _real_ Lister wouldn't…

Backed against a wall with his arms pinned by his sides and _something that wasn’t Lister_ gently sucking the exposed skin on his neck, Rimmer released a frightened, shuddering exhale as he realised quite how stupidly defenceless he now was. 

Having already sensed the shift in his emotions, the instant Rimmer attempted to tug at his gun hand, Lister’s grip on his wrists tightened harshly with an inhuman strength.

“That's right,” he hissed in his ear as Rimmer whimpered in terror. “Stay _niiice_ and still for me, man.” He drew back to face him, his eyes dilated almost entirely black like a shark on the hunt. “I'll make it worth your while -- ”

Lister’s mouth yawned unnaturally wide, the drool-dripping sharp teeth parting to reveal the horribly-familiar sucker. Struggling helplessly against his grip, Rimmer wrenched his face as far away as he could and screwed his eyes closed, jaw jabbering wildly in fear. “No-no-no!” he cried.

“Hey!”

The loud yell snatched the Polymorph’s attention. It drew back its mouth to glance back over its shoulder to where its doppelgänger stood, gun already outstretched in aim.

With a low, gurgling roar, it released the grip on its quivering prey, and with an audible _thwip_ , morphed into a fly that quickly buzzed away into the darkness.

Choking on his own panicked gasps, Rimmer fought to slow his breathing. “Oh, thank god,” he garbled. “I thought the smegging thing was going to - ”

He didn't have much time to recover from his near-panic attack when the second Lister thrust his gun into Rimmer’s chest, eyes set firm and hard. 

“And how do I know that you're not staging a double-bluff?” He challenged flatly, his usual chirpy Liverpudlian tone now unnervingly harsh. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just shoot you?”

Rimmer shook, paralysed with fear. He'd already witnessed himself how chillingly easily Lister had shot two versions of the Cat without a second thought. One wrong move and his lightbee would be rendered nothing more than a useless paperweight.

“Listy, please, it’s me!” he begged, holding his hands and gun aloft. “That thing was pretending to be you! I mean, it knew about us! And what we -- ” Rimmer’s head inclined awkwardly, “ -- you know,” he tailed off, somewhat embarrassed.

Dark brown eyes searched his suspiciously before dropping to Rimmer’s crotch, where it was embarrassingly easy to make out the peaked outline of his dying erection.

With a roll of the eyes, Lister plucked the gun away. “You stupid smegger,” he chided, before tearing himself away to continue his hunt. “Besides,” he called hushedly over his shoulder, “I thought we agreed to keep it to the Bunkroom?”

Rimmer smoothed down his tunic self-consciously as Lister slipped away into the darkness once more. For once it was hard to argue with the man. With all the creatures out there in the cosmos that were often keen to snog them senseless before trying to drain their emotions, suck out their brains, or transfer terminal, sentient viruses, that definitely seemed to be the right course of action to stick with in future.


End file.
